Henrik Jan Danielsson.SE

…dagens über fail:

Upptakten till denna nya modell av semisub Mercedes: Sonen hade lånat bilen av sin pappa för att sjösätta en vattenskoter vilket uppenbarligen gick så där, ett litet bevis på att murphys lag även gäller dom med pengar, skönt!

– Huvudsaken är att ingen blev skadad, säger pappan till aftonbladet.se
Snäll pappa, undrar om det lät så privat också

Förbluffande å se alla olika variationer av en så banal och enkel sak som att hänga upp en overall, tror vi får ta med det i säkerhetsbriefingarna..

Jag kommer ihåg första gången jag använde en kondom, jag var runt sexton år. Jag hade gått till affären för att köpa ett paket kondomer och bakom disken stod en söt tjej. Hon såg att det hela var nytt för mig och hon fråga om jag visste hur jag skulle ta på mig en kondom. jag svarade ärligt:

- Nej.
Så hon öppnade paketet, tog ut en kondom och drog den över tummen. Hon sa att de skulle sitta tajt och säkert. Jag såg nog fortfarande förvirrad ut, så hon tittade sig runt i den tomma affären.

- En minut, sa hon, och gick till dörren och låste den. Hon tog min hand och ledde mig till ett litet rum. Hon knäppte upp sin blus och tog av sig den. Sen tog hon av sig sin BH och lade din vid sidan av.

- Gör det här dig upphetsad? frågor hon.
Jag var så överraskad att allt jag kunde göra var att skaka på huvudet. Hon sa sedan att det var dags att sätta på kondomen. När jag tog på mig den så tog hon av sig sin kjol och sina trosor och lade dem på ett bord.

- Kom igen då, sa hon, vi har inte hur mycket tid som helst. Så jag klev på henne. Det var så underbart att jag helt plötsligt inte kunde hålla tillbaka utan POW, det var klart på ett par minuter. Hon tittar på mig med ett flin och frågade:
- Tog du på dig kondomen?
- Så klart jag gjorde, svarade jag glatt och höll upp tummen för att visa henne…

1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it’s the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots’a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."

Via: http://www.blippitt.com/if-aol-made-cars
Liknande: Om Microsoft skulle tillverka bilar

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: ”If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: ”If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ‘Car95′ or ‘CarNT.’ Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ‘general car fault’ warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say ‘Are you sure?’ before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.