Archive for the 'Text' Category

Om microsoft skulle tillverka bilar..

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: ”If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: ”If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ‘Car95′ or ‘CarNT.’ Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ‘general car fault’ warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say ‘Are you sure?’ before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.

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Bisarra sexlagar från staterna..

  1. Oralsex är olagligt i 18 stater, däribland Arizona.
  2. I Virginia är det olagligt att ha sex med lamporna på.
  3. I Willowdale, Oregon, är det olagligt för gifta män att prata snusk under sexakten.
  4. Är man inte gifta i Georgia så får man inte ha sex med varandra.
  5. I Washington, DC, är alla ställningar utom missionären olagliga.
  6. I Connorsville, Wisconsin, är det olagligt att avfyra ett vapen medans en kvinna får orgasm..
  7. I Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, är det olagligt att ha sex med en lastbilschaffis i ett tullbås.
  8. I Florida är det olagligt att ha sex med piggsvin.
  9. I Utah får man inte gifta sig med sin kusin före man fyllt 65 år.
  10. I staten Washington är det helt lagligt att ha sex med djur, bara dom inte väger mer än 18 kilo.

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